“I wish I was never born” are the words that came out of his mouth. He was angry but it still hurt my feelings. If he only knew what he was saying. We say a lot of things when we are angry, but do we really mean them? I started to imagine my life without this little boy and it scared me!
I started to think about those moments in my life that I like to call the “What if?” moments. What if they never happened? I feel like, I have grown from each crazy/tragic event in my life.
One event that comes to mind is my father’s death. There is nothing worse than having your patent(s) get hurt or pass away. My… Our world was turned upside down. I believe I was in shock for months after. I believe my life was changed for the better on that day. I love my dad to the core, but I believe it helped me realize that I needed a change. I feel a bit guilty that my life is better now.
Another event is my son’s birth. Someone made a huge sacrifice to help our family grow. Seeing his birth was amazing. I can’t imagine what life would be like if he was “never born”. I wouldn’t change this for the world. My son’s birth mother may not be making the best choices in her life, but I still hold a special place in my heart for her.
I know this isn’t going to be the last time he says something like this. How I respond to it is going to be the key. I hope I can handle it.