My sister in-law (SIL) passed away several years ago quite suddenly and unexpectedly (NOTE: Not by her own hands). It was pretty rough on the family. She loved her family, movies, her clients, and her students. A beautician by trade and very good one at that. she also taught at a beauty college in her city. When she would come into town, she would cut the families hair. This was a big sacrifice and very much appreciated.
My mother in-law (MIL) recently came across her daughters journals and she tossed them in the garbage, because from what she read, my SIL was very angry and unhappy with her life and where she was in this life. This whole thing sparked a few questions for me.
These are all my opinions and thoughts sparked by this situation. I’m a huge fan of journals and true stories about people.
What story?
Looking at my own life and my personal Journals, I probably write in mine when I have problems and things I want to get off my chest. If you were to read mine, you might think I am an angry or unhappy person. Just like Facebook, you won’t get a full picture of who I am or what I’m about. With Facebook, you get the good/happy things that are going on in life. Journals gives you the bad things in life or the hard ships. Photos on Facebook are probably only the good moment. Photos captured from family members and “moments” may capture how you really are or look? (You may not have time to prep? ) I wonder how you can get the complete pictures of someones life? If we could only merge all this information into one. People have many demons they are fighting and a journal is where they keep them.
Who is mentioned?
I think one of the things that people worry about when reading a journal is if they come across an entry where they mention their name? It is going to be either a good thing or a bad thing they mention about you. Do you want to read something negative written about you? I personally feel that it would be hard to read how someone truly feels about you, especially if they have negative feelings toward me. Unfortunately, there are many people in this world that have negative feelings toward me. I can try and change that, but it is the fact of life. I probably should work on that. 🙂
Unlocking the secrets.
I’ve found Journals, note books with a date and a bit of a story about what i was feeling, that go back to 1993. A few months before I would spend 25 days of my life in a hospital trying to recover from Spinal Meningitis, which is also a point where I wrote a journal of my experience. I was also given a journal in 1995 from a few friends I hung out with. It was a gift from 3 girls and most of the entries in this period of time are about how much I liked these girls, my weight, etc. Not a lot of deep dark secrets. I’ve probably mentioned things I don’t want them to ever read. I might have some secrets in there. Who knows.
What if you come across others secrets? You can’t change anything about them? It may change the way you look at them, but personally I feel like, I would still remember the good things about them. Who knows what you would find out though, it may cast a dark shadow on your memories!
The missing pieces
With all this said, I feel like having these journals with either negative or positive memories, it still gives you a look at their life. You know a little more about them and what they were thinking. I would love to find a journal my parents kept. My father was killed when I was 15 (work place accident) and my mother passed when I was 34 years old (from cancer) and I feel like I don’t know enough about them!
Several years ago, I found some old cleared checks that where my fathers. Unfortunately, having this kind of information doesn’t tell me much about him or what he spent those on, but I remember some of his habits and such, so looking at these I could infer some information. If I wanted to get crazy, I could map out a timeline of where he was? That could be interesting…..I digress…
Conclusion
I know I could go on and on about this, but it’s a very interesting question to ask yourself. Do you want to read a family members journals to find out who they were and what they were about, even if it could cloud your memories? I love looking back at my journals and reading my thoughts. I would be horrified if my wife read them, but when I’m gone it may be useful for her or my boy. Even though, for the last 8 years of his life, he is probably the one I focused on the most 🙂