This week my boy wanted to listen to Alvin and the Chipmunks Christmas Song. It made me think of my Aunt Margret, who passed away last year. It brought back a lot of memories that I cherish. Memories of hanging out at her house, her laugh, and the many fun things we did with her. When I was a boy, I would hang out at her house a lot. I first heard this song at her house many moons ago. If I could only call her up and tell her how much my boy loves this song, and the memories I have of this song.
While driving to work, I was thinking about the people in my life that try and avoid memories or places that bring up memories about certain people. I’m curious why? My father passed away when I was 15 years old (about 44 days before my 16th birthday). I would be lying if I said it wasn’t a traumatic experience and there was a lot of anger towards his job where he was killed. He died in a work place accident, but of course, I had to hold someone responsible. I wasn’t happy with the place he worked for many years.
My father was a smoker and he smoked in our house (this was the 80’s, it was acceptable…right?). To this day, if someone is smoking around me, it still brings up memories about my father. I hate the smell of smoke, but I cherish those memories of him. A few memories are: Long drives down by the lake to on his way to have coffee with his friends. Sitting in the bowling alley, impatiently waiting while he talked, and talked with his friends. I was an impatient kid. 🙂
My mother has also passed on, from Cancer (as mentioned before), and I’d say there isn’t a day that doesn’t go by where I think of her. The memories are awesome, and I will be sad when they are gone.
All of my grandparents have passed on. My father-in-law has passed. It is so crazy! I’m a bit jealous of my friends that have both sets of parents an grandparents!
One thing I love about Facebook is the memories. We live in a society now where “dropping by” to visit someone is a bad thing. That is one thing my mother and father would do a lot. “Hey lets go see …..”, and we would drive over to their house. No cell phones, and calling their home phone took too long! It was great, but now you don’t see anyone unless you are on Facebook or make prior arrangements.
People tend to only post the “good” things that are happening in their life, but I don’t mind it. I still get to keep up with them. It is hard to tell if they are going through a rough time. If you have a friend who has passed on and they have a Facebook account, it is a bit of a memorial. You have a place to leave memories and photos from the past. There are many times I’ve gone to my parents grave site and spoke to them as if they were there listening to me. If my parents had a Facebook account, I’d probably write a message or two to them. We do have a group where we can post photos of them and share memories.
I asked my wife about this why people try and avoid the memories, and her response was that they may be avoiding the places where they died or the memories about them dying. I can totally understand this. The memories of their death are probably the most traumatic. The experience was tough, but I know that I grew so much from going through my experiences. It was definitely rough, but it is a memory and something I’m never going to forget.
What are your thoughts?