Category: Random

Is the grass greener on the other side?

Just an interesting thought/question this week? What would you do if you could be doing something else with your life? My passion in life is programming and being creative when I code! There are many things I would love to do in my life, but I know I couldn’t give up my keyboard and being creative. I do find myself dreaming about what I’d love to be doing, mostly when I hear about someone having fun doing things I’m not. The grass is probably NOT greener on the other side, but it would be fun to try it out.

This is just me thinking of things I’d love to be doing, but why I’m not.

Living the van life

One of the things, I would love to try is living in a van equipped with everything I need to live off grid. Driving around the country seeing the world and working remotely. This is probably on the top of my list. I watch several videos a day where people are quitting their jobs (or keeping them), building out a van, and living off grid. They make it look like it would be super fun and doable. Unfortunately, I couldn’t do this. I have a son in school and a house full of stuff. We could use one for trips, which would be fun.

Living off grid in a tiny house

Another thing I watch a lot of is living in Tiny Houses. Living off grid, collecting my own water, storing my own energy from the sun. It sounds super awesome, but you have to give up a bunch of luxuries. The luxuries are different than living in a van, but there are some sacrifices. I could work from home (if I could get internet out in the boonies).

We have way too much stuff and like our space, so this is probably not an option. This could be a nice thing to have for a summer getaway or Airbnb?

Survivalist

Hopefully you are seeing the trend here. I’m super impressed by the survivalist that can start with nothing and build a shelter, start a fire, and survive with nothing. Fishing and Camping was one of the things I did as a child, and I think that is something I’d love to do more of now! The reason I don’t do that now is because i’m so lazy! Getting everything ready, finding a camping spot, and a bunch of other excuses keep me from going out. This option wouldn’t work out very well.

I do need to take my boy camping more and experiencing the world more. We went with our neighborhood a few years ago and he still talks about it. It was a super fun time and we survived!

Keep Dreaming

I’m going to keep dreaming, and keep my laptop and keyboard handy. The grass on the other side always looks greener, but who knows if you’ll ever find happiness. I applaud people who cross the grass and find happiness on the other side. If you are searching for something better, good finding it!

Journals

My sister in-law (SIL) passed away several years ago quite suddenly and unexpectedly (NOTE: Not by her own hands). It was pretty rough on the family. She loved her family, movies, her clients, and her students. A beautician by trade and very good one at that. she also taught at a beauty college in her city. When she would come into town, she would cut the families hair. This was a big sacrifice and very much appreciated.

My mother in-law (MIL) recently came across her daughters journals and she tossed them in the garbage, because from what she read, my SIL was very angry and unhappy with her life and where she was in this life. This whole thing sparked a few questions for me.

These are all my opinions and thoughts sparked by this situation. I’m a huge fan of journals and true stories about people.

What story?

Looking at my own life and my personal Journals, I probably write in mine when I have problems and things I want to get off my chest. If you were to read mine, you might think I am an angry or unhappy person. Just like Facebook, you won’t get a full picture of who I am or what I’m about. With Facebook, you get the good/happy things that are going on in life. Journals gives you the bad things in life or the hard ships. Photos on Facebook are probably only the good moment. Photos captured from family members and “moments” may capture how you really are or look? (You may not have time to prep? ) I wonder how you can get the complete pictures of someones life? If we could only merge all this information into one. People have many demons they are fighting and a journal is where they keep them.

Who is mentioned?

I think one of the things that people worry about when reading a journal is if they come across an entry where they mention their name? It is going to be either a good thing or a bad thing they mention about you. Do you want to read something negative written about you? I personally feel that it would be hard to read how someone truly feels about you, especially if they have negative feelings toward me. Unfortunately, there are many people in this world that have negative feelings toward me. I can try and change that, but it is the fact of life. I probably should work on that. 🙂

Unlocking the secrets.

I’ve found Journals, note books with a date and a bit of a story about what i was feeling, that go back to 1993. A few months before I would spend 25 days of my life in a hospital trying to recover from Spinal Meningitis, which is also a point where I wrote a journal of my experience. I was also given a journal in 1995 from a few friends I hung out with. It was a gift from 3 girls and most of the entries in this period of time are about how much I liked these girls, my weight, etc. Not a lot of deep dark secrets. I’ve probably mentioned things I don’t want them to ever read. I might have some secrets in there. Who knows.

What if you come across others secrets? You can’t change anything about them? It may change the way you look at them, but personally I feel like, I would still remember the good things about them. Who knows what you would find out though, it may cast a dark shadow on your memories!

The missing pieces

With all this said, I feel like having these journals with either negative or positive memories, it still gives you a look at their life. You know a little more about them and what they were thinking. I would love to find a journal my parents kept. My father was killed when I was 15 (work place accident) and my mother passed when I was 34 years old (from cancer) and I feel like I don’t know enough about them!

Several years ago, I found some old cleared checks that where my fathers. Unfortunately, having this kind of information doesn’t tell me much about him or what he spent those on, but I remember some of his habits and such, so looking at these I could infer some information. If I wanted to get crazy, I could map out a timeline of where he was? That could be interesting…..I digress…

Conclusion

I know I could go on and on about this, but it’s a very interesting question to ask yourself. Do you want to read a family members journals to find out who they were and what they were about, even if it could cloud your memories? I love looking back at my journals and reading my thoughts. I would be horrified if my wife read them, but when I’m gone it may be useful for her or my boy. Even though, for the last 8 years of his life, he is probably the one I focused on the most 🙂

Homelessness

YouTube

I follow a channel on YouTube called “Invisible People“, it is a channel about homeless people. The guy interviews random homeless people throughout the world. It’s pretty raw and you hear all kinds of stories. This channel is great, because everything I have wanted to ask, he asks! I’ve mentioned this in the past, but everyone has a story and most people want to tell their story to anyone who will listen. I find everyone interesting and want to hear their story.

Adoption

We received our son through the gift of adoption. A very kind girl chose to place her baby with us and we are so thankful to her and her family for making this decision. It has been a very interesting roller-coaster. There is a whole new dynamic to your relationship. Our son has an extra set of grandparents and may have to deal with some things that most kids don’t have to deal with.

Up until a couple years ago, we kept in touch with the Birth-mother (BM). We had a great relationship with her, her husband, and second son. We were invited to birthday parties. She was invited to birthday parties for our son J. It’s been great. A couple years ago, the BM made a poor decision and feel in love with a another person while she was still married and raising a 2 year old boy.

Your choice

Her and her lover ended up being homeless and making very poor decisions. We started getting calls to lend her money, for hotel rooms. Our love for her made us want to give, but we were very hesitant to lend her the money. We told her this was a one shot deal and it had to be used for what the intended purpose was (a room) and nothing else. Come to find out, it wasn’t going to be used for a room for the night, but to help her lover with hormone injections. She tried calling one other time, but we had to remind her about the stipulation. We haven’t heard from her since.

We haven’t had much contact with our BM, but she still posts on FB, so we are able to follow her journey. She has had several family members trying to help her out and give her a hand-up in life. Unfortunately, she has chosen to live a life of homelessness. I wish we could help more, but there isn’t much you can do when they have made this choice.

I know we can’t help much, but it is sad to see the damages she is doing to her life. Explaining all of this to our boy when he grows up is going to be quite interesting. We know they are based up in SLC, so I try and look for them when I’m in the area. I pray for her and her family often! Covid-19 has probably made it harder for them and put them in more danger.

How do we help?

This is the ultimate question. I’m not sure what the answer is, but there are a lot of sites out there and local opportunities to help. Treat them with respect and try and help them out where you can. I’m not sure about you, but I want to make sure my $ goes for good and not something else.