Tag: death

Journals

My sister in-law (SIL) passed away several years ago quite suddenly and unexpectedly (NOTE: Not by her own hands). It was pretty rough on the family. She loved her family, movies, her clients, and her students. A beautician by trade and very good one at that. she also taught at a beauty college in her city. When she would come into town, she would cut the families hair. This was a big sacrifice and very much appreciated.

My mother in-law (MIL) recently came across her daughters journals and she tossed them in the garbage, because from what she read, my SIL was very angry and unhappy with her life and where she was in this life. This whole thing sparked a few questions for me.

These are all my opinions and thoughts sparked by this situation. I’m a huge fan of journals and true stories about people.

What story?

Looking at my own life and my personal Journals, I probably write in mine when I have problems and things I want to get off my chest. If you were to read mine, you might think I am an angry or unhappy person. Just like Facebook, you won’t get a full picture of who I am or what I’m about. With Facebook, you get the good/happy things that are going on in life. Journals gives you the bad things in life or the hard ships. Photos on Facebook are probably only the good moment. Photos captured from family members and “moments” may capture how you really are or look? (You may not have time to prep? ) I wonder how you can get the complete pictures of someones life? If we could only merge all this information into one. People have many demons they are fighting and a journal is where they keep them.

Who is mentioned?

I think one of the things that people worry about when reading a journal is if they come across an entry where they mention their name? It is going to be either a good thing or a bad thing they mention about you. Do you want to read something negative written about you? I personally feel that it would be hard to read how someone truly feels about you, especially if they have negative feelings toward me. Unfortunately, there are many people in this world that have negative feelings toward me. I can try and change that, but it is the fact of life. I probably should work on that. 🙂

Unlocking the secrets.

I’ve found Journals, note books with a date and a bit of a story about what i was feeling, that go back to 1993. A few months before I would spend 25 days of my life in a hospital trying to recover from Spinal Meningitis, which is also a point where I wrote a journal of my experience. I was also given a journal in 1995 from a few friends I hung out with. It was a gift from 3 girls and most of the entries in this period of time are about how much I liked these girls, my weight, etc. Not a lot of deep dark secrets. I’ve probably mentioned things I don’t want them to ever read. I might have some secrets in there. Who knows.

What if you come across others secrets? You can’t change anything about them? It may change the way you look at them, but personally I feel like, I would still remember the good things about them. Who knows what you would find out though, it may cast a dark shadow on your memories!

The missing pieces

With all this said, I feel like having these journals with either negative or positive memories, it still gives you a look at their life. You know a little more about them and what they were thinking. I would love to find a journal my parents kept. My father was killed when I was 15 (work place accident) and my mother passed when I was 34 years old (from cancer) and I feel like I don’t know enough about them!

Several years ago, I found some old cleared checks that where my fathers. Unfortunately, having this kind of information doesn’t tell me much about him or what he spent those on, but I remember some of his habits and such, so looking at these I could infer some information. If I wanted to get crazy, I could map out a timeline of where he was? That could be interesting…..I digress…

Conclusion

I know I could go on and on about this, but it’s a very interesting question to ask yourself. Do you want to read a family members journals to find out who they were and what they were about, even if it could cloud your memories? I love looking back at my journals and reading my thoughts. I would be horrified if my wife read them, but when I’m gone it may be useful for her or my boy. Even though, for the last 8 years of his life, he is probably the one I focused on the most 🙂

Continue..Inspiration..

Image by Daniel Kirsch from Pixabay

I wanted to continue on with who inspired me. I thought about it this week, and I realize what I like others may hate. It’s like when I want to share my favorite restaurant, Charlie Chows, with my friends and I talk it up and how good it is but when I take them there for the first time they are like “blah, that was OK”. The glory about this place is you have a million ways to make your food and you are in control of how you make it. It’s really hard to get it right the first time. There is nothing worse than that. I feel like I let them down. To each their own, so I won’t take offense if you don’t agree with me here. If you want to try it, let me know, I will go with you 🙂

I always had a dream to play the guitar. I have spent the last 3 years taking lessons, but I kind of stopped earlier this year. I got frustrated with my hearing and ability to play. I don’t know much about music theory, so it is pretty frustrating. I love music and listening to it. I wish I could sing, and I feel like i’m pretty good when I’m in the car singing to myself. I’m sure I’m like all those people on American Idol that get laughed at :). I found this one singer named Mike Posner and he has a cool sound and some accoustic songs I’d like to play. Some of his famous songs and my favorite are “Be As You Are“, “Move On“, and “I took a Pill in Ibiza“. I found out this week that he has a podcast (“What does this all mean?”) and I became obsessed with it this week. I haven’t listened to all of them but what I have heard, they are pretty good. He is a big thinker and into meditation and self improvement. It is pretty interesting.

One of his stories is about his father that passed away from Brain cancer. He has a song called January 11th, 2017 that is about his father. Since he works for himself (he mentioned this in an interview and in the podcast and they talk in the song), he was able to move home 10 months before his father died and spend those 10 months living in his house with his father. It’s an amazing story, he talks about it in his first podcast “Happy Father’s Day”. I encourage you to listen to it.

My father passed away when I was 15 years old. It was almost 30 years ago on November 30th, 1989. I was sitting in school about 11:30a waiting to go to lunch. Someone came over the intercom and said “Could you please send …. to the office”. I went. My aunt was there bawling and we went out to her car and she gave us the news and took us to the hospital. It was INSANE! I wasn’t able to say my goodbye’s or spend 10 months knowing. I found that pretty cool that he was able to spend the time he needed. I will have to write about my Father in a future entry. I have a TON of stories that I could tell.

Mike Posner has a pretty interesting story and I just found it pretty interesting. He walked across the united states, which was pretty insane! (see the link ). One last story that he told, was how he felt about seeing a homeless person walking without shoes. I’m going to butcher it, but if he has 10 pairs of shoes at home, why can’t he just give him his own shoes to help? I thought that was pretty profound. I have a ton of extra stuff that sits in my closet unused. Why can’t I give them to those that are in need? Winter is coming on and there are people freezing, and I have a ton of coats I need to donate. 🙂

Lots of rambling here.