November is National Adoption Month.. I have been thinking about this all week. Adoption has touched our life, but it wasn’t an easy road! I can’t remember when our journey started I think it was around 2010 or earlier. We always knew we were unable to have children of our own and this is the road we would have to take.
Adoption requires a lot of training. It seems like you have a lot more training than a lot of parents have. I feel like we were more prepared than most, but yet still scared and unprepared as them too. We had many disappointing moments through our journey. Where we were picked and then they chose someone else. It is always so heartbreaking to go through.
We had one adoption that went pretty far and the birth mother (BM) decided to parent two days after she gave birth. She had one son prior to this birth, but was sure she couldn’t parent the second. We were pretty certain this would go through until she wouldn’t let us come see the baby for two days. We received a call Sunday night and our case worker calling to tell us the bad news. It was devastating. It felt like someone had died! You go through a lot of emotions and it takes a toll on you.
Several months after we went through the failed adopting, my wife had a friend contact her. This friend had a sister that was thinking about placing her baby. We contacted her and did a lot of chatting and getting to know her. We had planned a trip to Hawaii, but she wanted to meet us. The week before we were going to go to HI, we had to jump on a plane and went out and met the birth mom. It was a great visit. We took her to dinner and chatted a ton! It was awesome! The next day, we met up and hung out all morning. We visited a park and went for a walk. We didn’t want to take up too much of her time. It was a great visit and we felt that it went pretty well!
While we were in Hawaii, we got a call from the BM and she decided to pick us! It was some excellent and scary news! We were just picked, which was exciting, but now we had to make plans! In two months, a baby would be due! After our previous experience, we had to be extra cautious. It was super exciting though! There are so many things to prepare, but you don’t want to get too excited to jinx everything.
We got a call on a Friday, almost 2 months later, with news that the BM was going to give birth that night sometime. We jumped on the next plane and were able to get out there and be there for the birth. It was an amazing experience. We were able to be in the room for the birth and I was there to cut the cord. Amazing experience. We had to spend the next week in a Days Inn until the paperwork was signed, so we could fly back home. I could write a super long post about all the things we had to do.
One awesome thing is, We have been able to maintain a great relationship with our BM and her family, and her mother is still considered Grandma (one of three). It’s been great!
I watched a movie last night called “Instant Family”. It dealt with Foster Care. Very good movie! It was very interesting. The situation where you are placed with a child for a few months and then they are removed from your home, for whatever reason. This is a situation that would be hard for me to deal with. I feel like it would be almost as bad as getting to the point of a placement and having it fall through. I have a lot of respect for foster parents and birth mothers who place their child.
Abortion is a bad word in my vocabulary, but I don’t want to open a can of worms here. I know there are situations where this may be the only answer, but I don’t condone it. I have several friends that are looking to adopt and I’m sure there are many more I don’t know that would be willing to adopt a child that is given a the opportunity to come full term.